Abel Speaks is a Christian ministry that supports families who have chosen to carry a child with a life limiting diagnosis. They connected us with a mentor couple, sent us gifts and books, and provided helpful information and resources to help us navigate Abigail's story with joy and grace.

An overwhelming majority of babies with anencephaly have been aborted. This website contains a wealth of information and dozens of stories of babies who have been born with anencephaly. It helped us to learn more about our precious girl and what to expect.

This book was given to us by a nurse on our MFM team. It is full of personal testimonies describing each stage of a parent's journey through carrying, delivering, burying, and remembering a child with a life limiting diagnosis. We found this book incredibly cathartic and relatable. It also provided us with the vocabulary to advocate for ourselves at our many medical appointments.

I found this site 7 months after having Abigail. While that was too late to help me in my decision making, I highly advise you to check it out if you are at the beginning of a similar journey. The founder also had a daughter with anencephaly and she has done a great job of gathering resources - specifically education - for both parents and medical professionals. I love everything this site has to say about favoring the term "life-limiting diagnosis" and especially recommend that you check out this study if you read nothing else. It's by Duke University and it shows that parents who choose to carry their babies to term (especially those who both continue the pregnancy and stay consistently engaged in church) are better off in the long run than those who choose to terminate the pregnancy. We have less psychiatric distress and that is surely worth considering when you are faced with the worst decision of your life.

I read through every story on the anencephaly info site within the first two weeks of getting Abigail's diagnosis. One of the most common threads between all those stories was the absolute agony each momma had handing her baby off to a nurse or funeral home person. Again and again I read the line "that was the hardest thing I've ever done." I resolved then that I would not hand Abigail off to anyone except for my husband - and then only when it was time to lay her in her grave.
The National Home Funeral Alliance provided the confidence and education I needed about how to take care of and prepare a body for burial - including the all-important knowledge that it is absolutely legal in all 50 states - it is in fact a fundamental right. You do not have to use a funeral home or morgue.

This story by Kate Braestrup and The Moth says all the things I would want to say on this subject - I listened to it just weeks after burying Abby and all I can say is "amen!"

I continue to learn about new ministries created in memory of babies like Abigail. There are also wonderful businesses that may not be in memory of any one baby but that I'd love you to consider if you have the opportunity:

• Cowtown Clay

Abel Speaks partnered with this company to give us a shadowbox with Abby's impressions in clay. LOVE. I've done some googling and there are lots of companies that do something similar but I hands-down recommend Cowtown Clay. They surprised us with a free hand print ornament as well. They also have Abby's impressions stored so I can order other products too. I have Theo's impressions and its on my bucket list to get a sibling plate with their hands painted like pumpkins - "our pumpkin patch"

• Sage & Sara Candle Co.

Abel Speaks partnered with this company to give us a support box we just loved. We used Abigail's candle during her bath as I was preparing her for burial so I will always have a special weakness when it comes to this company.

• The Morning

I adore Ashlee's perspective and representation of loss. This ministry has an active podcast with a long history of telling stories of loss - pregnancy loss, infant loss, and life-limiting diagnosis. Even if you are not Christian or unsure about faith, the support group is open to you. There's also a store and what I really like is there is stationary - trying to figure out how to celebrate Abigail with announcements just like her big brother was difficult. I found this resource while looking for help packing a hospital bag for a baby with a life-limiting diagnosis. They have a ton of free downloadable resources.

• Bridget's Cradles

I think this is just the coolest thing. This ministry makes little knit/crocheted cradles for babies born in the second trimester. This is a beautiful way to hold a baby born from 14-26 weeks because these little babies are so fragile. It helps families feel more comfortable holding and bonding with their baby.

• Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep & On Angel's Wings

These are photography ministries. One of the kindest men I've ever met volunteers for NILMDTS. This one is called in whenever there's especially an unexpected loss - although they would have come for us too if requested. OAW is more expansive in services but is only vailable in Missouri and Oklahoma. They have classes to take to support grieving parents and offer lots of different kinds of photography sessions. They did some family pictures for us while I was still pregnant and it is my dream to be included in a free rainbow baby session someday soon.
Ultimately, Michael and I had several photographers offer their skills for us. We decided we would rather handpick our photographers for Abigail's birth than go with one of these ministries because I wanted pictures of her alive and knew that meant our photographer would have to be there for labor and delivery too. I prefer for that experience to be private, personally, and wanted to know that the person taking pictures understood our vision for the birth and was good at their craft. We were not disappointed!

• Laurel Box

This is a fantastic site for anyone wanting to buy a gift for a friend with a story like mine. They make "grief" gifts- beautiful candles, wind-chimes, and other things which you can assemble into a care package.

• Zoe Faith

I only found this one after Abigail passed. They help you make memories with your baby while you are pregnant, provide bracelets to babies in the hospital, and I hope to one day participate in their Carried project when I feel up to it.

• Spoonful of Comfort

If you're bad at cooking or far away from someone but want to send a meal, do this!!! Some of the most generous people to us were friends and acquaintances who had miscarried babies and one such couple surprised us with a meal through this company. Every package comes with a beautiful ladle to keep - now every time I use ours I think of when I was pregnant with Abby and ate delicious soup, bread, and cookies that arrived in beautiful packages.

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My dream is to one day find a non-profit or business/ministry like the above that specifically makes miniature live wreaths and grave decorations for baby graves. If you ever find one or if you know of another group that deserves a mention on this page, please smash that contact button!